Moved to France: How to Deal with House Guests

It is all too easy to get caught up in a wave of bonhomie as you prepare to leave the UK for your new life in France. There may well be an endless round of goodbye parties and farewell gatherings. As the wine flows freely, good times are remembered and a wonderful spirit of warmth and friendship floods through you. You find yourself issuing invitations, to come and stay, to all and sundry. You’re excited about the new home you have so lovingly chosen and you want to share your good fortune with those around you.

This spirit of hospitality may well last through several groups of visitors but by the time the person who once sat beside you in primary school has found his way to your door, accompanied by a large and noisy family, you may well be regretting your largesse.

The secret is to know what your own personal attitude to visitors is going to be. A little time spent thinking about this means that you can make it clear from the very beginning what will work for you. It’s also important to be definite from the outset what won’t work for you. In this way feelings are less likely to be hurt and misunderstandings are less likely to occur.

Most of us enjoy seeing family and friends, hearing news from home and taking pride in showing people around our new home and surrounding area. We have the opportunity to learn more about a place when we see it through the eyes of visitors. We may have the benefit of entertaining and enjoying the company of others in a more relaxed setting than might have been possible back in the UK. But we don’t necessarily always want to be at the mercy of a long stream of guests who suddenly descend, for an unspecified period of time. The old proverb that houseguests and fish “go off after three days” has often turned out to be true. Even overnight visits, en route to another destination, may seem a perfect compromise but if these occur with ever increasing frequency during busy holiday times, the burden of changing sheets and cleaning bathrooms can become intolerable. Other people’s habits can become irritating when sharing a house with them. To be forewarned is to be forearmed! A little planning and preparation can help to keep friction to a minimum.

Here are some issues to consider and discuss with potential visitors ahead of time:

• Agree the dates and length of time for the visit. Be firm if this is not a convenient time for you.
• Give as accurate a picture as possible of what the weather is likely to be at that particular time
• Let people know what your capacity is for sleeping arrangements
• Talk about what your guests are looking forward to doing and what their expectations of the trip are
• If your visitors don’t have their own transport, consider options for airport pick-ups etc
• Let your visitors know if you have any other commitments during their stay so that it is not a last minute surprise
• Discuss whether they are happy to undertake visits on their own or whether you will go with them
• Organise a selection of local maps and brochures to encourage spending some time apart
• Be very definite, from the beginning, how you feel about smoking in your home
• Decide if you prefer to cook and prepare meals on your own, accept some help or allow your guests to take over your kitchen completely
• For long-stay visitors, think about how household chores can be shared
• Suggest some items from home which you would welcome as gifts e.g. a local newspaper, magazines, specific groceries, CDs or DVDs which are difficult to obtain

You can’t prepare for every eventuality. Sometimes the things that go wrong make for the best memories. Just enjoy the chance to spend time with people who have travelled a long way to see you and share the pleasure of your new life with them.