Culture Shock

The French way of life can lure us with its charm. We think of the iconic images of fresh baked croissants, vibrant markets, fields of lavender and grapes ripening on the vine. But, being on holiday in a country and actually living there are two totally different experiences. It is all too easy to forget that our charming French neighbours are actually culturally very different from us. Unless we make an effort to understand something about their way of life we risk the whole experience turning sour. This lack of cultural sensitivity is undoubtedly one of the main reasons why many ex-pats find it difficult to settle to their new life.

Understanding French laws and customs will help you adjust to your new home. Before you go, do some research and talk to people who have already gone through the experience. Ideally, make a head start on learning the language before you go. Once you have to deal with the day-to-day realities of life, you will need a greater understanding of the language than just a few “holiday” phrases. Demonstrating a willingness to use their language will go a long way to endearing you to the French people you encounter as you go through the process of re-locating. Don’t feel that your French has to be perfect before you attempt to speak. Just trying to use the language will be appreciated. It is the first step to breaking down cultural barriers. You might well be surprised to find that, rather than being horrified by your hesitant utterings, you get a sympathetic and helpful response.

The relaxed lifestyle of our French holidays certainly doesn’t prepare us for the frustrations of dealing with the French bureaucratic system, once we’ve made the decision to set up a new home and life there. But each country has its own way of doing things and you‘ll settle in so much better if you accept that this is “the way things are done”. A willingness to ask questions is often a good ice-breaker and a great learning experience.

One of the most important things to consider from the outset is whether you want to be just an expat or a member of your local community? It is certainly easier and often a lot more comfortable to seek out the companionship and shared activities of your other British neighbours. However, this often leads to a later feeling of alienation from the local community. Remember, you chose to live in a particular area, not just a particular house.

Tips on settling in:

• Shop at local shops regularly and get to know the shopkeepers
• Attend local community events
• Join volunteer or charitable organisations.
• If you go to church, then attend a regular service.
• Invite your neighbours over for coffee or dinner. Ask their advice.
• Offer English lessons
• Volunteer at the local school as an English aide

When all is said and done, many of our differences are, of course, a delight, and should be celebrated. You’ve made a brave decision to change your life, and nobody said it would be easy. The challenge is part of the adventure. You will undoubtedly learn a lot from your experiences. Time spent on preparation before you go, and continuing effort one you are there, will enhance and enrich your new life. “Vive la difference!”